august 15

today, i’m sitting in an airport waiting on a flight to new york to start what hopefully becomes a grand adventure. but i guess i should explain the point of it, eh? well, very simply, i wasn’t doing the sort of things i wanted to do in chapel hill. i didn’t really have anything going on career wise, i spent far too much time sitting around, and i didn’t really know what i wanted to do. i don’t mean to make it sound like i was unhappy, because it’s quite the opposite. i love that place and everyone in it. but i was unfulfilled. there’s been something missing ever since i graduated--a goal. something to work for. i struggled for awhile to figure out what it was and how to fix it, but nothing seemed to quite work. so i decided to leave, to start a search for something new to, hopefully, start a new phase in my life where i discover what it is i want to spend my time doing.

but now that i’m beginning this process, i’ve realized that i’ve always had this problem with my home. by all accounts, i’ve had a pretty cushy life. and yet i’ve never been content in where i am. there’s always been this feeling that i’ve wanted to do something more, something else. and i don’t blame that discontent on the places i’ve lived or the people there, it’s just that, when i’m comfortable, i tend to stay passive. i tend to wait around for things to happen rather than doing them. it’s only now that i realize i need to make a drastic change to see where i can take myself.



so i’m gambling on movement, on adventure.